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Week 9, Day 7

10 09 2009

Thus concludes a truly remarkable (final) day of being lived by The Bailey Sisters! Man it was great.

I hardly know where to begin.

Let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start)

In the morning, I let 1. The Coin of Destiny do the talking. I made lots of decisions. Now, after a long night at the casino, I’m not sure if I remember any of them. But among them:

Should I follow a commenters’ either/or directive today? (NO)
Should I wear the black or grey shoes? (BLACK)
Should I eat at Nuba or somewhere new? (NEW)
Coke or Snapple? (SNAPPLE)

& so forth. I lived “my life” & eventually ended up at home. All unfamiliar food, black shoes, & Snapple.

When I returned home, my phone was waiting for me in the mailbox! Loaded with texts, of course.

Thanks, Mom!

I didn’t need to 2. Consult the I Ching to determine which Radio Lab podcast to listen to today as the I Ching had, by process of elimination, decided that I would listen to “Musical Languange.”

Now there was a magical experience! I listened as if it were going out of style.

Very good. I made a video of me listening, but the 3. Coin of Destiny said I shouldn’t post it. Sorry, guys.

Well, I was supposed to 4. go to the Casino tonight. Wearing 5. red lipstick and 6. jeans, hoodie, & sunglasses. Managed the lipstick ok. Jeans too. Hoodie as well. As for the sunglasses? That was a little more difficult. But I drew some sunglasses on my wrist & hung a sunglass around my neck. Thus, covered all bases.

I put the awe in awesome.

Eventually, the Bailey sisters (or two of them) arrived at my home. Luck was a latey tonight.

I can build them a bike...

They’ve been feeling disenchanted with me lately. I’m all loopholes & semantics. & there were certainly more semantics ahead! Was there ANY WAY to rectify this? I thought I might be able to do it through song.

Outtakes will be available on the members only site. The outtakes are actually the best part of the project this week! Anyway, I managed to convince them (through song & liberally flowing champagne) that “bike” was open to interpretation. On the way to the casino, I would sing them improvised songs, all about bicycles & cycling. & thus, I’d 7. bike. Good.

I won them over to my cause. We headed over, singing all the while.

We took a cab over, at their insistence, where I serenaded them & the cab driver at length. We made a video but (sigh) I accidentally deleted it.

Nearing the gates

After the cab we found ourselves, very excited, in the casino. We took some amazing pictures too, but the casino owners made us delete them. So we took another picture outside with the bouncer.

Nobody NOSE the trouble I've seen

Yeah, I look like the joker. But it’s the best I can do, under the circumstances.

Then we headed in to play a few games. I was only allowed the 8. hard bar so I drank some whiskey. While my friends enjoyed the (much more moderately priced) beer.

Then I 9. Flipped the Coin of Destiny to determine what games I would play

Blackjack
Slots
Slots

In Blackjack I put 15 down & won 25! Then I played slots, where I put $20 in & won $50. I had a 9. budget of $81 but, after some fudging, I made it. Regardless, I won over $40. Most of it on slots. Lucky me! I talked to the dealers, none of whom gamble on their free time, & they all agreed I was lucky.

So many amazing pictures uploaded that don’t quite fit in with the theme of today’s blog. It’s a pity. Those of you who actually know me will likely see these appear on facebook. Small consolation, I know.

As far as tomorrow, the first day of Week 10, goes? Well, a commenter favorite (Ben Trafford) has stepped in. He’s proven to be a remarkable understudy. You should all aspire to such heights.

I have his schedule up, & his bio too.

In the next few days you should witness me getting down & nerdy.

Still high off my gains at the casino (more than $30 for sure!) I’m up for anything.

Comments : 14 Comments »
Tags: beer, champagne, singing, food, correspondence, excitement, decisions, living, drawing, improvisation, magic, morning, luck, nerds, life, mail, greatness, Facebook, consolation, experience, long days at the office, shoes, games, loopholes, text(s), making it, understudies, home, posting, agreement, Coin of Destiny, I Ching, The Bailey Sisters, gambling, casinos, Radiolab, podcasts, listening, winning, consultation, cabs, hardly knowing, remembering, Snapple, elimination, musical language, going out of style, lipstick, jeans, hoodies, sunglasses, wrists, covering the bases, disenchantment, semantics, rectifying, song, improv, outtakes, members only, bike, biking, a whole new world, serenades, deletion, bouncers, the joker, circumstances, under the circumstances, playing, gamboling, hard bar, whiske, blackjack, slots, beginners luck, dealers, aspiration
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 9, Day 6

9 09 2009

I’m almost done being lived by the Baileys! It’s been a long & exciting week.

I’ll tell you right off that you can’t expect any pictures. I lost my iPhone! & I can’t find my camera. So you will have to attempt (difficult, I know) to use your imaginations.

The Chancellor is happy to have me back.

That’s all you’re getting from me. Let it be inspiration enough.

Today was a very long day. It began with me waking up with fewer than five hours of sleep under my mother’s dining room table. I’d 1. Flipped The Coin of Destiny the night previous & I had to leave in the morning. Earliest ferry was 10:30. I left a note to that effect on my dining-room-table-tent. (You can watch the whole architectural process, if you’re so inclined, in the post below). Anyway, I woke up & had fifteen minutes to get ready. A few blueberries, pieces of bacon, & hard-boiled egg later, & I found myself back in the trusty family Volvo, ready to face the future.

I nearly missed having a future at all. Arrived at the ferries with just minutes to spare! Bought ticket, raced in. As I was about to text TD with a snide comment about the supremely Canadian “Female Washroom” sign in the terminal, realized my phone was gone. The horror! Probably in my mother’s car?

Felt my cell like a phantom limb the whole ride back to Vancouver. Though eventually it began to feel like a timeless, underwater state. A little bliss in that, I’ll admit.

I’m supposed to 2. Flip The Coin for all minor decisions. I was lost enough & discovered a way to circumnavigate it. I wouldn’t make any decisions. For the next several hours I followed my impulses without thinking about them, much as I always do. I bought the New Yorker & read it on the ferry. The wrongful execution story prompted a tear or two.

Then I took the (non-express) bus back to the city. Braden had my keys & I had no way of getting in touch with him, but I remained very calm. After an hour or so on the bus (insane man explaining to us that the Japanese kill heroes, but he, on the other hand, was a military captain of Jesus, here to spread the “Don’t worry, be happy” word!), I exited with my suitcase & headed for a nearby coffee bar with wireless access.

Sent some desperate emails. Jess! Call Braden! Sipped tea. Still no decisions. I was kind of like a Vulcan. Or at least a Vulcan as I understand it from watching Trekkies– never seen an episode of Star Trek in my life. I unquestioningly followed my own logic & no hemming & hawing or coin-flipping was necessary. Smart. I eventually got in touch with Braden & headed to his work to get my keys.

We stopped for sushi. I selected commenter Suzanne’s either/or directive. 3. Hot drink or cold? I got tails. I eschewed the free tea in favor of a non-free can of coke.

I eventually made it home around 5:00. Long day at the office.

Meanwhile, tonight’s date AND my back-up date were supremely MIA. I made a deal with Braden & he promised to be my third go-to man if the date ultimately fell through. I waited for Braden to get off work & accomplished some of my directives.

I 4. consulted the I Ching to see which Radio Lab podcast I should listen to. I got Hexagram 42 (Augmenting/Increase) with the alternate 24 (Return). Obviously, I was to listen to “Time.”

I 5. Listened to it.

Perhaps it’s because I think about time a lot, but this was the first Radio Lab which failed to fully impress. I’ve always experienced time differently than others, & I suppose I’ve also researched time a little — maybe this is why none of the information in the program was particularly new or surprising to me. Or maybe I was just busy. Eventually, I listened with half an ear. My favorite quote? “The joy of time is when you lose it completely.”

I admit, I experienced time VERY differently today. I had no phone– & thus no clock. I made very few decisions. & it lasted a pleasant eternity. Things were soon to speed up, however.

Should I email the team at Radio Lab & ask them to participate in my project? 6. Flipped. Yes.

Did. Unfortunately, when/if they come to this site, they’ll be presented with this rather dull & photo-less entry. But that’s part of destiny too, I suppose.

Then I emailed the Bailey sisters. We’re all to go to the casino tomorrow. I 5. flipped The Coin to determine the details. Results?

1. Jeans hoodie and sunglasses
2. Hard bar
3. Go with two others
4. Bike
5. Red lipstick
6. $81 spending money

I emailed them with our destiny.

Magali responded:

Grand. What time? Want to come here first or shall we meet there?

So many people have decisions for me!

TAILS: we’ll meet here.
HEADS: they’ll pick the time.

There you have it. Suddenly time began to move very fast! I was prepped for a quiet night with Braden, when I received an email from tonight’s date! A flurry of planning began. Then I left my house almost immediately. Took the skytrain (for the first time) to the movie theatre where most of tonight’s date was to unfold!

In our pre-chat, we realized we have a lot in common. Not only is he from Ann Arbor (what coincidence!), he’s also lived in LA. Then 6. I flipped The Coin to see if I could get popcorn. NO. But then they made it fresh. 7. Now? YES.

As far as my directives go, should I remind you of the details?

no makeup
indoor
(nighttime)
pants
hair down
booze
smoke
don’t talk about project
goldfish

So anyway, we went to watch Inglourious Basterds. I was certainly 8. wearing pants & definitely had 9. no make-up & my hair was almost 100% 10. down. We were 11. indoors, of course, & it was 12. nighttime. I 13. didn’t talk about the project either. We 14. drank some covert whiskey in the theatre. By the time the strudel scene rolled around he turned to me & asked if I wanted to leave. Um, yes?! A man after my own heart! There is nothing I love more than walking out of a movie!

I’d resigned myself to watching the whole thing (eyes closed during violence, of course) as I thought it was part of my destiny. But normally I would not be so patient. I didn’t have to make a decision, however: he wanted to leave too!! We walked out. Giddy with joy.

Then he suggested we drive to a bar. I 15. Flipped the Coin of Destiny & it said he wasn’t a serial killer. Ok. The coin is never wrong.

In the parking garage, his pick-up truck suggested otherwise. Or perhaps I misread the NRA sticker? Or the stained twin mattress, empty coconut shell, length of rope & metal tools in the back. Still, who am I to argue with fate? & if he killed me, well — any publicity is good publicity. I told him that God was watching him & if he was going to murder me, he should do it gently. We got in the car & 16. smoked a cigarette before heading to the bar.

Cigarettes are a filthy habit, but I don’t have any control over my directives.

Then we split a pitcher of beer & my new friend Joe attempted to seduce me. It was an admirable effort, & it certainly would’ve worked on me if I were 17. I told him as much, then gave him helpful pointers for the future. Though he’s already very good & he probably doesn’t need them. Speaking of 17, I attempted to work 17. goldfish into the conversation. I had a particularly good lateral thinking question in mind. But as the topics of conversation would not veer from lesbian experimentation, the kind of sex I had with my ex-boyfriend, & his work in the air conditioning business, we never quite reached the transcendent realm of lateral thinking. I eventually forgot all about it, as I was having too much fun. I’m sorry. I’ve failed you.

His knuckles were all taped up. I asked him if it was from cutting up prostitutes. But much to my relief, it was nothing like that. Just a run-of-the-mill barfight. I was very impressed.

Then, against my better judgment, we went back to his apartment where…

I waited for my cab! He was a true gentleman. You know, on plentyoffish (the dating website I was required to sign up for this week) we were 97% compatible. That’s why I went with him. & despite our vast differences on the surface, I sense a kindred spirit within. I have to say I was very fond of this guy. We’ll stay in touch (we better!) & I’m going to be his wingman (I hope!). I’m a really good wingman. Also he is a DJ & he can introduce me to some electronic music.

Actually I kind of love Joe. He says I think too much but I love him anyway. Do you hear that, Joe? I love you!

Now it’s time for bed. I’m going to sleep for a hundred years. Sorry about the lack of pictures, but my phone will arrive in the mail tomorrow or day after. If I wake up with a long white beard I’ll be sure to document it for posterity.

Give me some more either/or’s! I still have one day left. So excited for casino tomorrow. Though I’ve never been to one & I don’t even know the rules of poker, that just makes it more exciting.

Comments : 12 Comments »
Tags: admirable efforts, air-conditioning, Ann Arbor, apartments, augmentation, bacon, barfights, bars, beer, bliss, blueberries, Braden, buses, cabs, Canadianisms, casinos, circumnavigation, clocks, coconut shells, coffee bars, Coin of Destiny, coincidence, Coke, cold drinks, compatibility, control, correspondence, dates, dating, deals, decisions, departure, desperation, destiny, difference, directives, DJs, driving, early rising, eggs, enough, eternity, ex-boyfriends, excitement, execution, exiting, experimentation, failure, fate, female washrooms, ferries, filthy habits, flipping, fondness, forgetting, gentlemen, getting in touch, getting ready, giddiness, God, goldfish, hair, hemming & hawing, hexagrams, hot drinks, I Ching, imagination, impulses, indoors, Inglourious Basterds, insanity, inspiration, iPhone, Joe, joy, keys, knuckles, LA, lateral thinking, lesbians, listening, logic, long days at the office, looking forward, loss, love, Magali, make up, mattresses, men after my own heart, metal, MIA, movies, murder, my better judgment (against), New Yorker, nighttime, NRA, online dating, pants, patience, phantom limbs, pick up trucks, pitchers, planning, plentyoffish, podcasts, pointers, popcorn, prostitutes, publicity, Quentin Tarantino, quotation, Radiolab, reading, resignation, return, Rip Van Winkle, rope, seduction, serial killers, sex, skytrain, sleep, smoking, speed, Star Trek, strudel, suitcases, sushi, Suzanne, talking, tape, TD, tea, tears, tents, The Bailey Sisters, the future, the project, theatres, time, timelessness, tools, transcendence, Trekkies, Volvo, Vulcans, walking out of movies, whiskey, wingmen, wireless
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 9, Day 3

6 09 2009

You know what? I’m having trouble concentrating. You know why? My 1. house is a mess. You know why my house is a mess? Because I 2. flipped a coin which determined it would be so.

You know why I flipped a coin? Because I’m being lived by the Bailey sisters. You know why the coin said my house would be a mess? Because I selected commenter Suzanne’s either/or proposition: 3. heads: clean/tails: slob. Today I’m a slob.

The table is covered in empty beer bottles, soda cans, scraps of paper, plastic cups full of scraps… of plastic, & empty containers of breath mints & fish eggs.

I'm in a mood again.

I took a picture & I’d post, but it’s too humiliating. As if, friends, I haven’t suffered enough indignity!

Keep your either/or propositions coming. Through Wednesday, anything is fair game.

Back to the matter at hand. The day’s directives.

Today I was to 4. toss The Coin of Destiny to determine small decisions & 5. consult the I Ching to determine big ones. This is old hat by now & I did not keep track of each of the many, many minor decisions I made today. The remembered ones will turn up, now & then, over the course of the post. The forgotten ones are forgotten (or unspoken) for good. But suffice to say they’ve certainly shaped my destiny.

Shortly after waking (flipping the coin for a series of mundane decisions) I made plans for tonight’s 6. date. Answers (those previously determined in parentheses)?

makeup
(nighttime)
outdoor
pants
hair up
no booze
smoke
don’t talk about project
goldfish

Then I arose for the day. I 7. consulted the I Ching to divine the answer to the question “What should guide me today?”

I got hexagram 64 (Not Yet Fording / Before Completion) with the alternate 32 (Persevering / Duration). Themes included incomplete transition from disorder to order, necessity of “helpers,” drinking with moderation, cusp of new era, marriage, & the lines “what endures is the unswerving directive, the inner law of his being, which determines all his actions.” Right. Of course.

Obviously, I was intended to listen to Radio Lab’s 8. “Stochasticity” podcast. After a double espresso & plenty of procrastination, that’s just what I did.

Notes?

“If you don’t see past yourself you fall prey to superstition”
“We have to be careful not to find meaning here when in fact it’s just coincidence”
“On the subject of predictability, humans & coins are similar”
“At the very moment you think you’re hottest you’re actually freezing cold”
“Pattern rules the brain”
“One of the best things about gambling is that you can do it by yourself”
dopamine & pattern finding — “this is how your brain makes sense of reality”
“The noise is filtering itself”
The blog is the organizing principle keeping me sane — should I stop writing it?

It was very informative. I won lots of solitaire too. I 9. Asked the coin for details for my Monday trip to Qualicum. Answers?

travel solo
with Bailey Sisters soundtrack
camp
eat out
lighter (not matches)
water (not earth)
poem (not short story)
no reservations
goldfish

So that’s settled. I had a few more questions. 10. Should I write to the Radio Lab people (NO). Should I 11. Make a video? (NO). Then I asked 12. Should I go shopping? (YES). I procrastinated some more.

Went shopping, coin-guided. I 13. Called my father on the way & purchased 14. The shoes the Coin told me to & didn’t buy the sweater it told me not to. The coin was wrong, however. Shoes are strange & too small. I will return them tomorrow on my day off & buy the sweater I wanted all along (forbidden by coin).

Soon it was time for 15. Date #2. I had Simon (of Week 3 fame) as my ally. He picked me up around 8:00 (I was wearing 16. make-up & 17. pants, 18. hair up) for our outdoor, goldfish-including date. He greeted me with a bowl of 27 19. goldfish (three to the third, I believe! Correct me if I’m wrong, but if so, appropriate)

Cause they're so delicious

We headed out to release them in the pond near our very first “date.” One of them was dead already, sadly. But we thought maybe the fresh pondwater would revive him. Before you ask, yes. These are the sort of goldfish that you’re supposed to put in ponds.

From here, proceed left

We released the goldfish into a little pond. I feel very bad because I think I killed some in the process. But most of them swam off very happily. Bats flew above them & some nearby nudists conducted some full moon ritual in the ocean nearby.

We went for a short walk. We 20. Didn’t discuss the project.

Then we headed back into the city proper. We had dinner reservations & some time to kill, but a 21. no booze restriction! Did have to 22. smoke however. Went to a hookah bar.

How does THIS thing work?

Simon was curious about Fate & it’s workings as well. He wanted to know if he should buy a new raincoat. He decided to flip The Coin of Destiny to determine his answer.

Well, it's very expensive, but...

Coin said? Worth it.

Puff the Magic Dragon approves.

TD called while I was in the hookah bar. “Why did you go to a hooker bar on a date?” he asked. Ha. I enunciated each word clearly. Oh. Who was I with? Simon! He remembered Simon.

“The balloons! Magical.”

Yes, everything is magical.

Then we had to race to make our dinner reservation.

We ended up at a very nice French restaurant. STARVED. So it was perfect.

No booze! No booze! We struggled with this. But wasn’t our date over? After all, we were indoors & all tasks were accomplished… let the Coin of Destiny do the talking?

Date? Over!

So from then on we enjoyed a real post-date dinner as friends. Booze included, & as much talking about the project as we desired. After all, this was our six week anniversary! Simon & I only see each other infrequently, so this allowed us some much-needed catching up. I’ll have you know, however, that during the two hours project-talk was verboten, we had plenty to talk about regardless. Wrinkle-mouthed bats, for one thing.

Dinner was delicious. Escargot! Steak frites! All reasonably priced. & well-earned bottle of wine to top things off.

A ______ at the end of the __________

After dinner, headed to a local bar.

Just checked my pockets to flip The Coin to determine an answer to a very pressing question. Well, I’m absolutely broken up. I can’t find it anywhere. I even went outside & looked around. How could I have lost The Coin of Destiny? This is extremely troubling, as I’ve come to rely on it. So much that I intended to carry it around with me forever.

I can’t tell you if I’ll find it. I certainly hope I do. At the same time, it seems unlikely. If I don’t encounter the coin in my searching, I may only presume that it’s destiny of another nature & I’ll substitute another.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Tomorrow is my day off. The next time you hear from me, I’ll be speaking to you from Qualicum.

WHERE IS MY COIN?

FOUND IT!!

As for my question:

Should I begin asking my readers a daily question?

NO.

Well, it serves you all right for commenting so infrequently.

Comments : 28 Comments »
Tags: beer, trouble, shopping, deliciousness, correspondence, decisions, mess, tasks, directives, completion, dates, bars, magic, accomplishment, balloons, concentration, Simon, questions, information, release, fate, guidance, destiny, loss, walking, commenters, verboten, dinner, travel, order, the project, steak, wine, cleaning, TD, home, waking, bottles, details, ponds, math, Coin of Destiny, I Ching, The Bailey Sisters, dating, flipping, Radiolab, propositions, either/or, espresso, inclusion, Suzanne, slobs, scraps, caviar, breath mints, humilation, indignity, fair game, the matter at hand, old hat, keeping track, perseverance, disorder, stochasticity, procrastination, Qualicum, goldfish, murder, nudists, rituals, full moon, hookah, smoking, determination, raincoats, hookers, French food, booze, regardless, wrinkle-mouthed bats, escargot, frites
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 9, Day 2

5 09 2009

What an awfully long day. I hardly know where to begin! My feet, yes, are aching from walking all over the city in heels, but physical pain is easy to transcend. I am, however, psychologically & intellectually exhausted. I’ve been ON from the moment I woke up. Already I’m… seeing stars?

Where shall we start? Where shall we– star!

Try not to star

I suppose that now is a good time to tell you that today I have a 1. STARRING problem. The Coin of Destiny has decided that each day I’ll let one of my commenters provide me with an either/or directive. I select my favorite directive set & then 2. flip the Coin to determine which directive I follow.

This time round, facing stiff competition I might add, Magali won! I was to either 3. have a starring problem or a woopie cushion & the sense of humor of a three year old. Well, I found the starring problem very fascinating. I believe she MEANT staring, but that’s not what she said. I 4. flipped & found myself with a serious starring problem. Just look at the comments on below entry for proof!

By now, with several comment responses & a few emails behind me, I have my starring problem somewhat under control. You should see at least one instance of starring in each of the following paragraphs, but I am stifling the urge to pepper everything liberally with asterisks. Not that it doesn’t take an awful amount of self-control!

Today I woke up, as one does. I did some serious coin-flipping. If your future is written in the stars, well, the Coin of Destiny was my direct link to them.

Should I return library books & mail things today? (YES)
Should I do it before or after coffee & 5. podcast (Tails: AFTER)
Should I watch the rest of the movie tonight after blog, or earlier in the day? (Heads: AFTER)
Should I stay out of Ptolemy/Allyson clash? (YES)
Should I shower now or later? (Tails: LATER)
Before or after chores? (Tails: AFTER)
Should I get out on the other side of the bed today? (NO)

& thus I got out of bed, starry-eyed at prospect of day ahead.

I 6. Consulted the I Ching to see which Radio Lab podcast I should listen to today. I got Hexagram 49: SKINNING (open surface, interaction, free, responsive, unhindered mouth; joy, radiance, burning, brightness, congregation [as of stars]). It seemed pretty clear that I should listen to 7. “Emergence.” Glad I did.

Skipped downstairs to pick up coffee (coins in my coin purse bright as stars) then headed back up to podcast myself into oblivion, or its reverse.

Played solitaire as I listened. I’m a true star when it comes to solitaire. I win at least three games for every two that I lose. I must conclude that the stars are, in solitaire — as in everything else — on my side. So appropriate for the theme of the podcast too. I sat sipping my espresso & clicking away at the seemingly random cards, occasionally sacrificing my score in the timed games to take the notes you’ll see below:

“order materializes out of nothing”
E.O. Wilson writing name in ants
“every time it happens it happens by accident [...] error is architecture”
“local unplanned decisions add up into macro-unit that has a personality”
you’re looking at an author? vs. empty of purpose. which?
emergence = science of “how many stupid things can add up to something smart”
jellybean guessing!! — is this why voting makes sense? [apparently, if you get a roomful of people to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar, the averaged number of their guesses is typically unusually close to the actual number-- much closer than any individual guess. This was discovered by a pioneer of the eugenics movement. Forget which one]
“to see the world as a coherent thing is a miracle”
is there a conducter?

Few facts are included in my notes, as it’s the facts I remember most easily. The ideas of others, however, I have to write down. If you want the facts (&, I assure you, the facts are interesting ones!) I encourage you to download the podcast yourself. It’s free on iTunes. Anyway, do you see a pattern materializing in my notes? Can you read my dreams & anxieties therin? Does the apparently arbitrary pattern seem appropriate? Is there an order materializing “out of nothing”? Commenters, consider. Work for that daily gold star.

Paused here last night. It's been on my screen all day.

It was then time to head out for my chores. Didn’t exactly want to, but who am I to rail against the stars?

I went to the library to return some books. I also needed to mail things to Allyson & her friends/family, as required by Week 8. First, the library. It was nice to be there. I’ve been in school for the last 22 years (with only one exception). Everyone else is heading back to school & I miss the gold stars & pencil cases of my youth. I put my books on the conveyor belt & felt wraught with indecision. A flurry of 8. Coin-governed decisions followed:

Should I get another book while here? (YES)
Poetry or fiction? (FICTION)
Male or female author? (FEMALE)
Someone I’ve read before? (YES)
American or no? (NO)
Margaret Drabble or Iris Murdoch? (MARGARET DRABBLE)
Gates of Ivory? (YES)

So there you have it.

Then I 9. asked the Coin

Should I get a drink here? (NO)
Big post office or little post office? (BIG)

so I tripped down the sidewalk as if walking on stars. Signed up for ZipCar on the way. Then headed towards the post office. Nothing can stop the swift completion of my appointed rounds!

All of this fate made me thirsty! I 10 asked:

NOW can I get a slurpee? (NO)
Something else to drink? (NO)
Can I get a slurpee when I get to the 7-11? (NO)
After I’m inside the 7-11? (NO)
Something else? (YES)

Well, finally! I went to the 7-11 in a sulk, where oh em gee. The gods knew more than I did. The slurpee machine was under repair! Alas for my star-crossed lover (the slurpee). But it wasn’t too late for me. I got a coke.

Once home, I 11. Consulted the I Ching very seriously to see where I should go for Monday’s trip. Insert star for some reason.

Quest question 1.

This was a long, drawn-out process that required several questions. I do not want to reveal the hexagrams I got for each question, as they veer a little too close to home. Suffice to say, it’s not uncomplicated. & the hexagrams recurred with shocking frequency! Many reappeared more than twice. But I got my answer, after asking the following:

Should I go to Qualicum on Monday?
What will it be like if I go Monday, specifically?
Is it the best option?
What would a different trip look like?
Is it foolish to go to Qualicum instead of elsewhere?
What good will come of me going?

It may not be the happiest option, but I believe it is the best. It seems to be in the stars for me at least. I’ll determine the details of the trip a little later. All this had me very contemplative.

I took my long awaited shower. (I sang songs about stars).

Then I 12. Let the Coin of Destiny determine the details of tonight’s date. It told me:

wear makeup
& skirt
put my hair up
drink booze
smoke
don’t talk about the project
no goldfish

I accomplished everything like the star I am (soon to be).

Met my new friend Brendan for coffee. Arrived on time (13. nighttime) & observed him from a distance. Was it him? I 14. flipped the Coin of Destiny. YES. Introduced myself. Told him I couldn’t talk about my you-know-what (I’m a real star with the [lack of] fine print!).

After chatting for awhile, we went for a walk along the sea wall. & then to Chinatown, where 15. The Coin told me we should go to a bar before going to the market. Gold star for me & my multi-tasking.

I'm pondering just what you're pondering

We went to a bar (16. indoors, of course) where Brendan used to work as a barback. We walked through the very dangerous East Side. It’s a good thing I’m such a trusting person & that Brendan is a man of an not-to-be-named-but-honest line of work, as I could’ve certainly ended up hacked to pieces in a ditch somewhere. At the bar, we got in without cover because Brendan is so popular around town. A VERY LOUD band was playing. It felt like stars were exploding in my ears. I could almost see stars circling around my head, as in an old time cartoon. I have a picture of the bar, but it’s not any good. We left after one beer.

On the walk back, feet blistering, we went through the market. What fun! I got some sticky rice (my first meal of the day!) & STAR STICKERS! Perfect for my starring problem.

Brassieres not included

Then we started the long walk home, my blisters near (not to be too graphic) the breaking point. Well, mission accomplished? I flipped 17. The Coin of Destiny to see if the date was over. It was! So now I was allowed to talk about the project. & I did.

Our starry (k)night

We stopped at another bar where I compensated Brendan for the beer he’d bought me on our date by buying one for him. He saw lots of people he knows. He’s a real star in this town.

I’m done with/for today now. All I have left to do is watch the rest of Scenes of a Marriage. I’d normally go to bed but the coin doesn’t see that in store for me. In star for me.

Bella & the Chancellor are cuddling in the corner, though Chance occasionally takes off to chase a ladybug hovering around one of the light fixtures. Did you know that when I lived in Michigan my house was periodically infested by ladybugs? & do you think Bella & the Chancellor know that they’re stars on the internet?

Speaking of the internet, stats are slipping & I’m not happy about it. It’s not a top priority of mine (as I obviously have a lot of other things to take up my time), but it does make it easier to get through the day when I know there are thousands (& not paltry hundreds) of people rooting for (or against) me. Remember, gold stars equal presents when the year comes to a close. & this week (perhaps this week only!) you commenters get a hand in my fate! Comment with either/or’s & I’ll incorporate one of my favorites into the following days.

What's in (y)our stars?

Thus concludes another day (in the life) lived by the Bailey Sisters, starring Emily Zinnemann. It’s raining now. When it comes to a walk, the dog will have to wait. She seems happy to(o).

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Tags: writing, beer, slurpees, anxiety, library, comments, dreams, singing, stars, correspondence, favorites, mission accomplished, Bella, friends, coffee, waiting, the Chancellor, directives, process, dates, love, happiness, pain, luck, psychology, notes, exhaustion, the internet, family, paragraphs, iTunes, showers, control, priorities, school, honesty, indecision, contemplation, trust, fate, talking, long days at the office, fans, stats, games, feet, walking, commenters, competition, Michigan, gold stars, sea wall, explosion, travel, chores, leaving, order, sidewalks, the project, stickers, patterns, staring, decision, bedtime, materialization, blisters, facts, post office, back to school, randomness, details, Allyson, Magali, Coin of Destiny, I Ching, introduction, dating, flipping, indoors, Scenes of a Marriage, Radiolab, podcasts, solitaire, aching, heels, transcendence, intellect, seeing stars, starring problem, either/or, whoopie cushions, three year olds, responses, peppering, asterisks, self control, listening, skinning, emergence, downstairs, coins, oblivion, reverse, winning, conclusions, espresso, inclusion, arbitratiness, pencil cases, conveyor belts, flurries, Margaret Drabble, Zipcar, thirst, star-crossed, consultation, hexagram, frequency, recurrence, options, Brendan, you-know-what, Chinatown, market, multi-tasking, barbacks, East Side, ditches, popularity, live music, cartoons, sticky rice, compensation, cuddling, ladybugs, light fixtures, infestation, conclusion
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 9, Day 1

4 09 2009

Very, VERY sleepy! This is my first day of being lived by The Bailey Sisters/I Ching & it’s not even over! Thankfully, the Coin of Destiny told me I could take a break from watching my movie to write this blog. So here I am.

Today, I began a week based solely on chance. Large decisions are to be decided by the I Ching (trans. Rudolf Ritsema & Shantena Augusto Abbadini) & small decisions by the Coin of Destiny provided by the Baileys. Already this year I have surrendered my life to chance– this is only highlighted by the open-ended nature of the Baileys’ assignment(s) for me!

As soon as I awoke, I flipped the Coin of Destiny to decide what I should do.

The Coin of Destiny has spoken

1. Heads, I get up. Tails, I stay in bed & read I Ching.

Tails. I read the introduction. Then I asked my trusty oracle if I should 2. (Heads) get up or (Tails) go back to sleep. Tails. I went back to sleep.

Slept for a VERY long time. Until 1:00, nearly! But I was still recovering from last night’s dinner party. Eventually I got out of bed. I then 3. Consulted the I Ching to determine what the best days for (a) travel (b) gambling & (c) dating are.

The I Ching is rather complicated & I’m not sure how well I can explain it here. I won’t attempt to explain the process. Suffice to say, I flip three provided pennies six times &, using some simple calculations, divine my answers to the questions posed.

The first question I asked was 4. when I should go to the casino. Is Tuesday the best day? I was presented with Hexagram 6: arguing, conformity, pitfalls, etc. That didn’t sound good! Is Wednesday the best day? Hexagram 34, “The Great’s Vigor” seemed to suggest so. It suggested that Harvesting & Trial were central motifs. So I’ll go with Wednesday.

I then asked if Monday was the 5. best day for travel. I was presented with Hexagram 2 (Space: Spring, growing, harvesting; trial belonging to the female [horse]; directed going; beforehand delusion, afterwards acquiring; Western South: acquiring partnering; Eastern North: losing partnering; Peaceful Trial: significant) with the variable Hexagram 16 (Providing; Harvesting: installing feudatories, moving legions). There were also other images & signs associated with each hexagram (& the variable lines). I took this as a positive & will travel (where?) on Monday.

Then I asked how today would be (The Great Possessing! Spring, growing). Friday (conjunction [esp. of thighs!], repenting, holding onto one’s following [hint, hint]; providing, trial, lateness, procrastination)? Saturday (conjunction: purpose located outside, yielding not harmful; Great’s Vigor: vigor, discipline, pitfalls, significant trial, versatility, losing the goat?!)? Tuesday (The Radiance: harvesting, trial, growing, female, significant). I concluded that 6. Friday, Saturday, & Tuesday would be the most “auspicious” days for dating.

Some of the day's notes

Now to 7. create a profile on plentyoffish.com. I’ve never used a dating website before. One out of two of the Canadians I know, however, seem to swear by this place. I 8. Flipped the Coin of Destiny to determine if I should create a fake profile or a real one. Tails. I made a real one.

How could you say no to this face?

I created a profile under the name “publicemily.” Very clever, if I do say so myself.

Here’s what my profile says (though if you’re already on plenty of fish you can check it out for yourself):

I’ve never had an online profile before but I’ve been ordered to set one up by this week’s puppetmasters!

I just moved to Vancouver in July. I’m easygoing, well-read & up for anything (except boredom & violence). I have a big dog, a dark sense of humor & a taste for old movies. I like wearing dresses & drinking whiskey &/or champagne. Into fine dining (on a modest budget), blackberry picking, & OF COURSE long walks on the beach!

I get along with anyone who is relaxed & confident. You don’t even need a sense of humor.

I’m a card-carrying writer who is spending the year being lived by other people. I’m only on Week 9 but it’s taken me lots of interesting places so far… Mormon churches, wheelchairs, the stands of Lions’ games. But the best is yet to come.

This week, three sisters have given me the order to use the I Ching to govern all my major decisions & the flip of a coin to determine the minor ones. They had me set up this profile, & I’m supposed to go on three dates, with three different men! I used the I Ching to determine the best days for these dates, & they are: Friday, Sept. 4; Saturday, Sept. 5; & Tuesday, Sept. 8. That’s where your help comes in!

[EDIT: Found my dates! That was fast. But this profile will remain up until my week ends next Wednesday, just in case anyone wants to attempt to sweep me off my feet.]

My schedule is very open as this project is my work for the year. So if you’re free on one of the above days & I like the cut of your jib, let’s get together for some casual fun! I don’t have use of my car at present, so I’d like to stick close to downtown if possible.

If things go well, I might even give you a week! If you like, you can see more about the project at livedby.com

I tried to make it at least moderately enticing. It seemed to work! I have a date for tomorrow (he contacted me) & one for Tuesday (I contacted him). I’m also going on a “date” with Simon on Saturday. So there’s a good variety there. I also got other requests! Be still my ego. I’ll leave the profile up till the end of the week.

Fate is great.

I was supposed to 9. flip the Coin of Destiny to determine whether my dates would take place at day or night. Most of the flipping I’ll leave to the day of, as I like to save things for the last minute. But for practical reasons I flipped for the times today. Tails every time, for night. By now I was beginning to think the coin was weighted.

I also 10. flipped to see if my Friday & Tuesday dates would take place indoors or outdoors. Results? Indoors for both.

What fun. Then I 11. consulted the Coin for several other things. Heads is always yes, in my book. Tails, no.

Should I Skype Andrew (NO)
Should I call Jess (NO)
Should I call Kyla (YES)– so the coin isn’t weighted. But she wasn’t in.

Meanwhile, Bella decided she wanted to lie outside on the balcony for several hours.

At first I thought she was dying, but she just wanted some sun.

Then there were more things to be decided.

Heads: Take out; Tails: Cook (HEADS)
Heads: French fries; Tails: Something healthier (HEADS) — why, whenever I let God into my life, does he tell me to eat french fries?
Are my fingernails too long? (YES)
Should I cut them? (YES)
Right now? (NO)
Should I put on make-up? (NO)
Should I change my profile picture on Facebook because Ptolemy made fun of it? (NO)

I headed out for some french fries.

Should I go (back to that shop window I passed) & look at those boots? (YES) — I didn’t like them as much as I thought
Should I start wearing an anklet in an attempt to bring the anklet back? (NO)

It’s nice having this coin. I don’t know what I’ll do without it!

Probably contract fewer contagious diseases.

Probably contract fewer communicable diseases.

Once at home, I consulted the coin once more. Should I

Heads: Stay in & watch Scenes of a Marriage or Tails: Go out for a movie (HEADS)

So that was settled. I was also supposed to 11. listen to a Radio Lab podcast to be determined through divination. I consulted the I Ching. It presented me with the primary Hexagram 41 (Diminishing), 14 (The Great Possessing) as a secondary. Both had a lot of interesting things to say, but both emphasized the significance of spring. I decided my podcast would have to be made in the spring. That left me with the options of “Time,” “Where I Am,” & “Stochastisity.” I determined that “Where I Am” would be the best option, as one of the hexagrams had, as a central image “three people moving.”

Should I listen to the podcast before or after the movie? 12. I flipped– heads. I’d listen before.

Time for the liquor store, I thought. 13. Heads: beer, Tails: wine. I flipped tails. Disappointment! Poured a sip of wine into a mug.

14. NOW can I buy some beer? (Yes)

Went to the liquor store, where the 15. Coin of Destiny selected a Granville Island IPA.

Then I headed back home where I 15. listened to the day’s podcast while playing some computer solitaire. It fascinated me for all the right reasons, but now I’m drowsy & can’t articulate anything. The central theme was the relationship of the brain to the body. It was very elucidating.

If you're a Chosen Person you can balance a large coin on the bridge of your nose, directly over 3rd eye. Thanks, G-d!

Then I started my movie. Very good so far. I also had an idea. During the movie, I 16. Asked the Coin of Destiny if it would be a good idea to let my commenters in on this week’s game of chance. YES.

This week (& this week only!) commenters may propose, each day, an either/or activity for me. I will select my favorite proposal from the comments, flip The Coin &– according to the answer (heads for option 1, tails for option 2)– I will perform the proposed task. It’s best if you keep the day’s schedule in mind– nothing too time-consuming or difficult to execute. But that’s not to say it can’t be psychologically significant– it can be a large over-arching task that I may work into the day’s directives (eg., wear a hat all day, speak without adverbs, smile at every person I see etc.) Get to work, worker bees!

Then I continued to watch the film. I paused right after Johan told his wife he was leaving her. I had a question. 17. Should I pause to take the dog for a walk & write my blog? (YES).

So I took herself out for her nightly constitutional.

Witness a dog who grew up in elevators.

Now I’m back. & it’s time to finish the movie.

This has been a fun & rather relaxing day so far. I have always possessed the blessed combination of indecisiveness & superstition, so living according to chance has, thus far, been liberating rather than challenging for me. Also, this is the first week in AGES where I don’t have to post practically everything that I eat. That has been an absolute joy.

Tomorrow I’ll have my first date & determine, using the I Ching, where I will travel on Monday. Stay tuned, friends. & if any of you have other translations of the I Ching & would like to offer alternate readings/guidance, I welcome it. This particular translation is somewhat difficult to interpret.

It’s likely I will fall unconscious on the couch attempting to watch the rest of this very long film. But– you must know how this is– I want to see what happens.

Comments : 36 Comments »
Tags: tomorrow, time, beer, dog walks, reading, superstition, dinner parties, correspondence, favorites, spring, Bella, decisions, cleverness, relaxation, tasks, directives, happening, assignments, dates, balconies, radio, ideas, body, Simon, greatness, questions, film, challenge, weeks, complication, brain, indecision, french fries, yielding, guidance, commenters, travel, late rising, heads, wine, movies, decision, reality, explanation, themes, waking, sleepiness, couches, variety, calculation, chance, Coin of Destiny, I Ching, The Bailey Sisters, breaks, surrender, highlights, tails, introduction, oracles, recovery, consulting, gambling, dating, processes, pennies, flipping, divination, casinos, hexagrams, argument, conformity, pitfalls, vigor, harvesting, trial, space, conjunction, following, radiance, auspiciousness, plentyoffish, swearing by, fakeness, profiles, publicemily, online dating, enticement, moderation, requests, indoors, fingernails, anklets, Ingrid Bergman, Scenes of a Marriage, Radiolab, podcasts, NPR, diminishing, posessing, significance, liquor store, solitaire, drowsiness, articulation, elucidation, propositions, liberation, translation
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 8, Day 5

31 08 2009

Hi everyone.

Well, I’m posting a list of the foods I normally eat, before noon on Monday rather sooner than I expected. But it turns out this week’s participants thought they were running Week 10 & NOT Week 9! They said they’d attempt to rush a schedule by Wednesday, but I’m not relying on it. I turn to you, my trusty readers/understudies, to email me at livedby@gmail.com with alternate schedules on the off-chance that my Week 9 friends do not deliver. Though I certainly hope they will.

If you have an idea for a schedule, SEND IT TO ME! If I don’t use it this week, there is a good chance I will in the future, when other things fall through. Livedby@gmail.com. Please. The project can not fall through so early in the year!

Anyway, these are the foods I normally eat over the course of a week:

fish of some kind (salmon & tuna are classic standbys)
bread
tomatoes
fruit (esp. berries [esp. blueberries])
olive oil
butter
spices (esp. rosemary, thyme, parsley, salt, pepper)
garlic
tomatoes
rice
greens (esp. salad greens, spinach, &/or kale)
zucchini
beer
wine
whiskey
honey
lemon (don’t even hope that I’ll find this locally)
slurpees (impossible)
smoothies (generally including peach & mango, no I don’t have a blender, yes this is impossible)
grapefruit juice (also likely impossible)
cheese
soda (esp. Coke &/or root beer– also likely impossible)

Potential understudies! Send me your Week 9 schedules!

I’m dying here.

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Tags: schedule, beer, whiskey, slurpees, food, fish, butter, eating, participants, ideas, bread, cheese, normality, rushing, delivery, dying, readers, garlic, smoothies, noon, wine, hope, tomatoes, zucchini, pleas, understudies, honey, lemon, fruit, desperation, Monday, alternatives, future, falling through, olive oil, spices, rice, greens, grapefruit juice, soda
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 8, Day 1

27 08 2009

What a lovely day! I love being lived by Allyson. This is one of those weeks where I can really feel my participant living through me. So I’ve finally reachieved that familiar (yet strange) doubling sensation of which I’m so fond.

I’m trying to concentrate on writing this entry but I have only one hour before the bar closes & I’m on an outdoor patio with loud music playing. It’s very picturesque out here, of course. All hippies & Christmas tree lights.

First things first. I’m 1. On Galiano Island. We arrived late last night & careened around the unlit roads until we found the cabin. Then we promptly ran out of gas &, wandering into the forest to find the gas canisters, locked ourselves out. A series of exciting adventures ensued with the pitch blackness, axes, spiders, screens in front of laundry room window, etc. But we made it in eventually & tucked into some steak. TD had potatoes. None for me alas.

Anyway, it’s beautiful here. It’s dead silent (outside this bar), it smells like a very expensive scented candle, & the stars are very bright. Woke up when I wanted to to a great summer day. Sunshine & approximately 70 degree weather. Things are looking up for me.

I 2. Called La Berengerie & set a reservation for 6:30pm tonight. I 3. asked to be seated in the outdoor patio area.

Then we headed down to 4. the shore with Bella. We climbed down the face of a cliff, using some rotted wooden stairs when possible. Bella is thrilled to be here & as nimble as a mountain goat.

We 5. spent at least an hour down there. Took some pictures. 6. Here’s one.

Bella loves being lived by Allyson

Then we went back up where I wandered through the garden.

Tastefully clad in mom-kini

Starved & thus hangry, we headed out for some lunch. Carbs, beautiful carbs! I had lox & a bagel, beer, & some gelato. I picked up 7. Three Denman Island chocolate bars (one for me, two for Allyson) then headed to 8. Art & Soul Craft Gallery (after grazing on some parking lot blackberries) where I 9. purchased five of the most beautiful postcards I could find (rather pricey!). Later this week, I’ll 10. send them to the people on Allyson’s list with a short cheery message from me/her.

Then we went down to a different 11. beach! Allyson wants a stone & I thought Pebble Beach would be perfect. We walked through the forest for about half an hour & then arrived! Beautiful.

I went swimming

A mid-ocean rock grazed my foot. So I stood atop.

So there’s another 12. picture.

As I made my way to the shore, I spotted Allyson’s stone. It was staring me right in the face! So I pocketed it, metaphorically speaking.

Then I felt jealous, so we collected some stones of our own.

TD's stones in my hand, mine in his.

After a picnic of some cold lamb pie & beer, we went for another swim then climbed back to the car.

A little time at the cabin, then made our way to La Berengerie for 13. dinner. We sat 14. outside (TD didn’t want to at first, but hey, this is Allyson’s week! Not his) & it was very nice. There were two ginger cats tiptoeing around the lily-pond. One of them grew very fond of TD.

So TD grew fond of outside.

They have a set menu, & nothing was 15. local to the islands, but I certainly had food that 16. wouldn’t be found within 100 miles of Asheville, NC.

As for my 17. honest restaurant review: I had a glass of Sauv Blanc. The meal began with potato & leek soup. Some parmesan cheese on top. It was basic but satisfying. Then there was a cucumber & almond salad with a creamy dressing & some mint & raisins. I was a little suspicious at first but it was crisp & refreshing.

The main course was a roasted Cornish game hen! It was delicious. The green beans were a little overcooked, however. & I don’t really like cooked carrots.

Game for anything. Ha. Ha.

I hope the two above photos count as 18. photos of the restaurant. I took one outside but it was blurry, due to TD’s old man shakes.

Dessert was the only thing that disappointed. I’m not a sweets person normally, but this dessert was less than impressive regardless. The chocolate cake was a dry, fruit-cakey affair & the creme caramel tasted like a very soft poached egg.

Then we 19. enjoyed the rest of the evening as we pleased. Getting lost in search of the bar & its wireless, we entertained ourselves by whistling duets of various national anthems. The Star-Spangled Banner was the hardest as I couldn’t stop giggling.

Eventually we found ourselves here.

It’s been an excellent day, though a little stressful in spots (the lack of reliable internet & cell phone service has me quite nervous, & I seem to have misplaced the house key. What’s WRONG with me?). I have far too many beautiful photos to post all of them here. Allyson is truly a master of the Living Emily craft.

Tomorrow we have to go to Saltspring for a wine-tasting. Nervous about planning that, & not exactly looking forward to four hours on the ferry. But the lack of autonomy is freeing & I’m curious to see where tomorrow eventually goes.

Now to look up the ferry schedule! & TD has promised we can watch Beauty & the Beast tonight when we get home. He’s never seen it! I bet he’ll break this promise, however. [edit: promise broken]

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Tags: Allyson, almonds, arrival, art galleries, autonomy, axes, bagels, bars, beaches, beauty, Beauty & the Beast, beer, blackberries, blackness, brightness, cabin, candles, canisters, carbs, carrots, cars, cheer, chocolate, Christmas tree lights, cliffs, concentration, Cornish game hen, correspondence, creme caramel, cucumber, deliciousness, dessert, dinner, disappointment, doubles, dressing, duets, egg, ferries, finding, fondness, forests, Galiano, gardens, gas, gelato, getting lost, giggling, ginger cats, green beans, hanger, hippies, hours, impressiveness, jealousy, La Berengerie, lamb, late nights, laundry, leeks, lily ponds, lists, living, local food, locked out, love, loveliness, lox, menus, messages, mint, mountain goats, music, national anthems, NC, nervousness, nimbleness, outdoors, parmasen cheese, patios, Pebble Beach, perfection, picturesque, pie, postcards, potatoes, promises, purchase, raisins, reservations, roads, rot, Salt Spring, satisfaction, screens, shore, silence, soup, spiders, stairs, stars, starvation, steak, stones, stress, sunshine, suspicion, swimming, TD, waking, wandering, weather, whistling, windows, wine, wireless
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 7, Day 7

26 08 2009

Wow! Final day of being lived by Fernando, guys. I got everything accomplished, much as I always do, though I have yet to have read, have dinner, write for an hour, & go for a final walk. I won’t bore you with the details as I’m on an island in the middle of nowhere with a half hour of wireless access in a restaurant about to close! So I’ll stick to the most interesting things. Today oatmeal just doesn’t make the cut.

BRUSH HARDER!

TD woke early & took the dog for a walk. Came back & brushed her as I ate my oatmeal. She’s going through her late summer shed. Plenty of fun, I assure you. Then watched Viridiana — at first thought I hated it (it’s not exactly a morning movie. Is ANY movie? Why, Fernando, did you have me watch all these movies in the morning?), but then I realized it wasn’t the movie, just the main actress. I actually liked the movie very much.

Then I did the most interesting project-related thing of the day: I ate 6 slices of bacon as a low-carb snack.

We went for a walk. On assignment, of course. I wrote, in a public place, the word “HI” with my finger on TD’s back. Check, check, check, I lose track of my own gold stars over time, people.

Then ate some lunch (seared tuna appetizer & a glass of pinot blanc for me; tomato soup, bread, & beer for my carb-loving gentleman caller).

We headed to the car rental place, which was ludicrously expensive, I won’t budget it in. It will come out of my own pocket. I mean my pocket & the project’s pockets are one. But I’m hoping some kind donor will bail me out if I fall too hard towards the end of the year.

Can I keep you?

Our car was parked in spot 13. Uh oh!

Then we got some supplies & raced to catch the ferry.

Made it! Made it straight to lane 13.

Farewell happy fields

After a very enjoyable twilight ferry ride, passed this restaurant. Open! They are open late tonight, for some reason.

But closing as we speak! Run over to the weekly schedule, I’m about to put up our very own ashroyer’s! She’s living vicariously though me starting tomorrow. Her bio & video will be up tomorrow, when I’m not working with such a tight external deadline!

Sleep well all. Or good morning.

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Tags: 13, accomplishment, actressses, Allyson, assignments, backs, bacon, bailing out, beer, Bella, bread, brushing, budget, car rentals, carbs, cars, check, deadlines, details, dinner, dog walks, donors, expense, Fernando, ferries, finality, gentlemen callers, gold stars, hatred, hi, hours, islands, lunch, making it, morning, movies, nowhere, oatmeal, open late, people, pinot blanc, pockets, public, reading, restaurants, schedules, shedding, sleep, snacks, TD, tomato soup, tuna, twilight, vicarious living, Viridiana, walks, wireless, writing
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Week 6, Day 6

18 08 2009

The end is near.

This was Day 6 in a wheelchair. Of course, I also had other things to accomplish.

Today seemed as if it would be quite taxing, but in fact it was one of the better days I’ve had so far! Funny how it always seems to work out like that.

First I 1. got up & showered. I’m getting used to showering in a wheelchair. So at this point, it was fairly routine. Fifteen relaxing minutes in above the tub.

Then, around one-ish, Olivia arrived & we 2. Took Bella for a walk. This is the first time this week I took the dog myself! Bella was pretty good. I kept running over her toes & at one point she was attacked by two off-leash toy poodles. The owner shouted, from a safe distance, “If she bites it will teach them a lesson!” Certainly, if the intended lesson was death. But Bella seemed to understand I didn’t have the strength to wrangle her & stood very still as the poodles jumped all over her, biting & yipping. Lucky for them. She’s not always so tolerant.

After this, Olivia & I 3. Headed to the Vancouver Art Gallery.

Speaking of chairs,

I didn’t feel like going to the museum on a nice sunny day, but actually it was very pleasant & relaxing. It took us an hour to get through the exhibitions. I was expecting that it would all be Canadian artists, but, thank God, it wasn’t! It was a show of 16th & 17th century Dutch realist painters.

There was also, for some reason, a reconstruction of a 1950s household. I felt very happy rolling about in it. As if I were in Mad Men! But with none of the disappointing Season Threeness.

We would have got better pictures, but we had to be very sneaky. Photos, after all, are verboten in art galleries. I got Olivia to pretend she was texting on my phone & finally we got one.

By the way, I look kind of fat in the picture to the right. I’d like to tell you all that that is the material of my skirt & shirt! Not, in fact, my stomach. If you remember the spandex photos, I am blessed with an essentially flat stomach. Vanity! will be the death of me.

I was supposed to 4. Spend two hours in the exhibitions, but there wasn’t exactly two hours of looking to be done.

Nor was there time to look & eat (part of 5) before everything closed down. So I may or may not have accomplished that particular directive. I certainly have spent beyond two hours in the exhibition in my heart. It’s stuck with me all day, in fact. Also, I’ve never been to the VAG (of all acronyms, Vancouver, really?) — never WOULD have gone, & now fully intend to return. So perhaps I’m on a payment plan? This doesn’t feel like a failure, but it possibly is. I’ll leave it to you to decide. Please note, too, that I was on the property of the VAG for at least 3.5 hours.

My "pity me" expression could use some work.

After wandering through the exhibit, we 5. went to the Gallery Café for lunch- it was certainly difficult & interesting to 6. find the alternative entrance! It involved all sorts of tricks. Intercoms, elevators, secret passwords– but eventually we made it.

Also, I was mistaken for Kyla for the first time this week! I knew it was bound to happen & am somewhat surprised it hasn’t happened sooner! When we were younger (19-ish), we were often mistaken for identical twins. As life has taken its terrible toll on our faces, we no longer get that much. But evidentally one woman at the museum still sees the resemblance. I’m flattered!

I’ve wanted a nose job FOREVER & I always tell Kyla that if I ever scrape the money together I’m going to ask for her nose.

The food was mediocre but the company was very good. Olivia & I don’t know each other that well (she’s one of my friend’s younger sisters) but we bonded over all sorts of topics. & now we are actual friends!

Also, we managed to get a bucket of beer for happy hour price, though it was not yet happy hour, because I was in a wheelchair. So that lubricated things a little.

My only sunshine

Olivia doesn’t like this picture of her but I felt I had to put it up. She’s too adorable! If she asks me, I’ll take it down.

After lunch, we hung out & chatted by the fountain. Kyla called me earlier today &, unprompted, cancelled one of her previous directives. I was supposed to 7. Sit outside on a busy street and hand out Emily, Lived By: postcards & get a friend to do the same on a street nearby, noting the difference in attitudes between my experience & that of my friend’s.

Well, I ALWAYS accept cancellations (though not last minute additions to schedule). Olivia & I were both pleased that we didn’t have to humiliate ourselves in this manner. You can imagine what it would have been like– it’s the idea of doing this that’s most important, really. Me enacting it for you all would not have made much of a difference. I commend Kyla for (with, I promise, no pressure on my part!) recognizing this.

Olivia & I delighted in the unexpected free time. Sat by the fountains & pondered life. So forth.

Olivia & her sisters are also on board to do a collaborative week. So we discussed that a little. Very excited to learn that their week (though I don’t know the details!) will be a real departure from many of the somewhat mundane self-improvement schedules I’ve encountered so far. Lately, my schedules, though very improving, have been a little dull– or at least, psychologically unchallenging– for me. So it’s nice to know the tides will shift soon. Perhaps this shifting will provide a good example for future participants!

Look at Olivia. What a saint. She practically glows!

Fortified by our new freedom, etc. we headed to a bar. Where we drank two pitchers of beer– goodness! Can you believe I’m writing this so coherently?

Olivia will also accompany on my directives tomorrow. We’ve plotted up a way to make them more interesting.

She helped me wheel home & before she left I gave her my copy of Suze Orman’s Young, Broke & Fabulous, as I think it might help her sort out her credit card troubles. Thanks, Mom, for Week 1!

Now I have only a few things left to do. I’ve 8. Relaxed & also 9. Spent time writing my blog.

I just have to 10. Make dinner & eat (I’m thinking some cheese puffs?) & finally 11. Lie in bed & contract my muscles from head to toe, working down my body including face, fingers and toes. Contract each muscle for 30 seconds, release, then go to sleep.

It will be done AND done.

Regarding the coming week: I received my schedule two days late & overwhelming majority of commenters proposed that I take two days off but blog about both of them. Looking at the schedule, I see that it’s not too taxing. It’s kind of weird to blog about my days off & I really hate the idea of not doing this project for three whole days in a row.

SO. I’ve decided to compromise: I will take one day off. I will blog (& project) for five days of the week, but have a rare two day weekend. In the future, as Ben Tilly has suggested (uncannily in line with my thoughts), I will have understudies ready to step in & late schedules will no longer be a problem.

Hi up there!

If any of you have complaints, you can address them to the Chancellor.

I’ve also come up with an amazing plan for my final week. You’ll just have to wait till then to see what it is.

See you tomorrow!

Comments : 24 Comments »
Tags: 1950s, accompaniment, accomplishment. working out, adorability, alternative, bars, beer, Bella, bending the rules, biting, blogging, bonding, buckets, cancellation, challenges, coherence, collaboration, company, complaints, compromise, correspondence, credit score, decision, departures, difficulty, dinner, directives, discussion, distance, dog walks, Dutch Realism, elevators, enactment, entrance, examples, exhibitions, fat, flat stomachs, fountains, freedom, galleries, happy hour, intention, intercoms, interest, iPhone, lateness, lessons, life, looking, lubrication, lunch, Mad Men, making it, mediocrity, mistaken identity, moms, mundane, muscles, museums, nose jobs, Olivia, payment plans, pictures, pitchers, plans, pleasure, plotting, pondering, poodles, property, psychology, relaxing, return, routine, secret passwords, self-improvement, shirts, showers, sisters, skirts, sneakiness, spandex, stillness, sun, Suze Orman, texting, the Chancellor, the end is near, the future, the VAG, tides shifting, toes, tolerance, tricks, tub, twins, understudies, Vancouver Art Gallery, vanity, wanting, weather, wheelchairs, wrangling, YF&B
Categories : Uncategorized

Week 5, Day 3

9 08 2009

Today might look like one of the easiest days. In fact, it was one of the most taxing!

Also boring to hear about. So this will be short. In part, because there is a loud party upstairs & I can’t concentrate! & also I wish I was there.

Nothing: beets, this.

Maybe because of all the excitement last night, I got off to a slow start. Woke up late-ish (around 10:00), then prepared for my 1.5 mile run. I did a few minutes of core stretches, then warmed up. Ran/walked a mile along the sea wall & then a mile back. I’m not sure if I ran for a full 1.5 miles, but I made sure my heart rate was up the whole time.

I also experienced a runner’s high for the first time in my life! Wow. I can see how this gets addictive. It was also fun to go along seeing other joggers &, also for the first time in my life, identifying with them. Much of this project seems to be about recognizing cultural subsets of the population I’d never previously given much thought to & learning to identify with the people who belong to them. Now, for the rest of my life, there will be a little jogger nested inside me. With a Mormon missionary inside that. & a piece of Hemingway. etc.

It’s nice! But you can see how sometimes it feels like my heart will explode.

Exercise feels great, but I don’t know if running is right for my attention span. In case you haven’t noticed, pacing is not one of my specialties. I’m trying to think of something slightly less tedious that could give me the same physical benefits. Swimming, maybe. I love swimming.

Got home in time for a shower & stretching, then headed off to yoga class. I absolutely loved the instructor. I don’t think she was as fond of me, sadly. I think she mistook my fidgeting with my hair as concern for my appearance, instead of physical discomfort (it kept falling down!). & my constant peeks in the mirror as vanity rather than self-loathing. I didn’t mind. It was a great class. By the end of it I was flexible enough to rest my hands on the floor behind my heels! Just a few days ago I could barely touch my toes.

I feel physically very good right now. I’m lucky to have a body that gets into shape very quickly. I can already see new musculature in my legs & abs.

I also had to go to dinner with friends & sing at least two songs in a karaoke bar. This all sounds very nice & laid back, but I know fewer than 20 people in this city. I contacted every one of them. Five are out of town, three didn’t get back to me, & the rest all work tonight! It seemed nearly impossible & I got very irritable as a result. I’m tired of talking to strangers. The last thing I wanted was to recruit strangers to sing karaoke with me! It ALMOST came to that. I hope I have better luck with bowling & dancing.

What a lifesaver.

Thankfully, I convinced Jess to sit with me while I ate my dinner. I had found someone (emphasis on ONE!) to sing karaoke with me at 8:00 & Jess was racing around between jobs, so this was strictly a forty minute affair.

By the way, she’s on an assignment as a food photographer where she gets to go around taking pictures of the 150 things you have to eat in Vancouver before you die or something. I am so jealous. She showed me some of the photos & not only are they amazing, she also gets to EAT a lot of the food! So while I subsist on two-day old leftover fish & blueberries (ok I do love blueberries), she’s having rabbit & scallops & ice cream!

Well, food is food. I drowned my sorrows in a dirty martini &, for good measure, smothered them with very good golden beet salad with goat cheese & toasted pine nuts.

Our waiter was a charming guy & we thought it might be funny to take a picture with him. He’s in a band called TV Heart Attack. We couldn’t figure out how to pose, so we kind of pretended like I had a problem with my salad, like a bug on the leaf or something. Don’t ask me why.

Waiter, there's a _____ in my ______.

God works in mysterious ways.

Our new musician friend’s name is Jason. So we (Jason, Jessica, & Emily) were a little common name triumverate.

Now I have to generate enough text to run alongside this picture.

I have ten thousand typing monkeys in my brain. Convenient! Time for your daily Shakespeare fix.

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;

– Henry IV Part 1. I.ii

& there you have it.

Come to think of it, maybe I should place a Strictly Platonic personal ad called Desperately Seeking Falstaff.

Though I suppose I already have enough Falstaffs in my life.

I was supposed to have dinner with friends, you say. Plural. “One friend does not count!” you cry. “You’re cheating!” I am WAY ahead of you naysayers. I pulled a two dinner maneuver with the help of my new friend Ray. Ray is a very successful young Canadian writer.

Ray, who tried to pay.

He has about seventy books of poetry out & a cushy job as a professor at UBC. I’ve only met him once. But I am very glad he was game for being serenaded by me.

I ordered a beer 100x the size of his & subsequently emasculated him. Also ate some hamachi, saba, & ikura. As you can see, I’m putting everything I have into this project. Not only did I have dinner with friends, I had dinners with them.

Then we got a private room in a karaoke place that was laid out like a brothel. Or at least like a brothel I once saw in a documentary.

I don’t much like singing publicly or with strangers, but Ray was pretty perfect for this. We opened our one hour act with “Puff the Magic Dragon.” Though sad that “A Whole New World” was not in the big karaoke book, we managed pretty well with “Tiny Dancer” & “Paint it Black” & “Karma Police” among others.

I wanted to sing “Paint it Black” because of my mood. It was extremely satisfying for me.

Karaoke for two is actually pretty fun. I think you should all try it sometime. Even if the people who work at the place think you’re crazy.

So. I accomplished all of today’s directives. By the skin of my teeth, but still. I was also supposed to attend at least five events at the World Police & Fire Games sometime this week. Blah! No time earlier, obviously. & the games are over tomorrow. So I will demonstrate my commitment to this project by attending them tomorrow, on my day off. On my day off.

If I look hard enough into the setting sun...

Well, no rest for the wicked. I’ll see you all on Monday! Adam’s been traveling, but, barring technical difficulties, you’ll see him too. On YouTube.

Comments : 6 Comments »
Tags: beer, poetry, yoga, sushi, pictures, dancing, exercise, God, singing, Hemingway, food, fish, strangers, correspondence, friends, excitement, parties, boredom, flexibility, easiness, ice cream, photography, privacy, blueberries, YouTube, text, showers, professors, salad, core exercises, running, warm up, bowling, World Police & Fire Games, getting in shape, benefits, stretching, taxing, wishes, slow starts, sea wall, runner's high, first times, joggers, cultural subsets, identification, nesting, Mormons, explosion, attention spans, tedium, swimming, instructors, fidgeting, vanity, mirrors, classes, musculature, dinner, karaoke, rabbit, scallops, dirty martinis, beets, waiters, musicians, charm, mystery, common names, Shakespeare, typing monkeys, convenience, Henry IV, Falstaff, writers, jobs, UBC, brothels, public, Paint it Black, craziness, commitment, no rest for the wicked, travel
Categories : Uncategorized

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