I confirmed my magical powers &/or psychic ability through rigorous scientific testing. I also fit myself into a very small glass box.
Now, as Day 6 of GEEK WEEK draws to a close, I have accomplished almost nothing… just as GeekMaster Trafford directed.
For starters, I’ve 1. Posted his banner. But that’s only a taste of what I can achieve!
In the afternoon, as directed, I went to see 2. District 9. I went alone for the novelty of it. Also, I didn’t know what this film was about. As I purchased the ticket the machine warned me that there was extreme graphic violence! Oh dear. I loathe violence. When I went to see the most recent James Bond movie in the theater it made me cry three times. I also screamed in terror during Enchanted (prompting laughter from the unforgiving audience). So I kind of wished I had brought a shoulder to cry on.
But, armed with popcorn & a Coke, I bravely entered the theater. It was sparsely populated — mostly middle-aged men there alone. The previews were scary & I briefly considered sitting next to a stranger for comfort, but I thought that might be misconstrued.
I watched the movie. I managed. I didn’t even cry once! It’s easier when it’s aliens & so clearly pretend.
I have limited experience with such films but I have to say as far as violent sci-fi goes, this was very good. It incorporated a lot of psychologically dramatic elements which made it more interesting for me than the average sci-fi movie &, for the first time in my life, I actually experienced a grim pleasure in watching someone get his head ripped off. It was all very manly & the moral message(s) was(/were) strong without being uncomplicated — like the violence. I’m sure if I were a man it would have spoken to me on a very primitive level & I don’t think this movie will contribute to the downfall of society in any way. The violence was somehow extreme without being gratuitous. Also, I thought the lead actor was very good. My minor quibbles with the film relate to things like alien character development & might ruin the plot for you so I won’t bother with those. All in all, I thought it was quite well-executed. But not exactly uplifting.
I felt a little perturbed & jumpy as I walked to Elfsar to pick up my 3. geeky t-shirt. & what a geeky t-shirt it was!
Oh look. It's the inaugural comic strip.
Apparently Mr. Trafford & Ethan selected the shirt together. It is an unpleasantly coarse orange number, men’s medium. A lovely warning on the front states: WARNING: Hentai (H) Very Dangerous Person. The tag that came with the shirt informs me:
Rated H. In Japanese, the letter H (ecchi) is used to represent anything sexual, and people who are “H” have extremely perverted minds. Enjoy our wacky “Rated H” shirt designs, recommended for anyone who likes sex just a little too much. The Japanese version says “This person is extremely perverted, please be sure to exercise caution.”
Thanks, guys. The back of the shirt repeats the H symbol with the additional words of guidance: “Extremely Ecchi, Supremely Sukebe… USE EXTREME CAUTION.”
How very repellent. I put it on when I arrived home. It’s awfully humiliating to be forced into a costume that doesn’t look like a costume.
Anyway, I thought I would download 4. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan but I needed to update iTunes first. Boo. I started the update & ordered pizza (in keeping with the spirit of GEEK WEEK), so I’d have something to eat while I 5. watched another sci-fi movie.
Gee that download was taking a long time. I mean, holy mackerel.
I picked up my pizza.
Bella encounters pizza for maybe the 3rd time in her life.
It was awful. Most Canadian pizza is. I don’t know why.
I decided to watch Trekkies 2 because I own it on DVD & I’ve already seen Trekkies at least 600 times this year. I’ve never seen an episode of Star Trek, but I have an absolutely geeky fascination with subcultures of all kinds. I thought this film might put me in a companionable mood. I was right! I’m always right.
I ate pizza as I watched.
At one with the geekiverse?
Once the film was over (& it was full of delights, from French Trekkie quiche parties to heartfelt filk [that's science-fiction based folk music, for the uninitiated] ballads) I was no nearer to having iTunes 9.0 than I was when I began. So I began to trudge all over the city looking for a video store that had the Trek film I needed.
I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice to say it took a very long time. Fortunately, Ptolemy was posting Livedby-based found “poetry” in the comments section & I entertained myself by texting little responses as I dragged my feet from creepy neighborhood to creepy neighborhood.
I had covered my geek-shirt with a decidedly non-geeky coat of my very own. I’m pleased to inform you that each video store asked me if I was a film student or if I had to watch this movie for some sort of project. “Yes,” I told them. & when they searched their computers “It’s called wrath of… something.”
Anyway, I got it eventually.
I intended to watch the film before writing this blog post, but once home I frittered away the hours on facebook & so forth. So I’ll watch my Star Trek in bed, 6. Sandman, as ever, by my side.
Please stay tuned for my final day as a geek. Not only will you be enlightened by my experience as a “fangirl,” you’ll get to experience the true, heart-stopping horror that is my schedule for Week 11.
***
p.s. I found the below — deeply perplexing! — fragment in my “Drafts” box in gmail today. I have no recollection of writing it. It is dated September 12 of this year.
“Nobody advocated a ghost town, yet the glue of cross purposes had the negating effect of favori
Is it a partial quotation from somewhere? does anyone recognize it?
No luck finding anything modest, that is. I mailed some of the postcards I made during Week 3 (it now seems so distant!) & had a lunch of sushi. I’ve lost my appetite since this project began. It’s the most I can do to choke down a full order of sashimi.
Week 10, Day 2
11 09 2009Thus, another long & unproductive day of GEEK WEEK comes to a close. My brain is adequately dulled by hours spent playing online 1. role-playing games, my naturally comely physique is suffering from a diet of sugar, powdered cheese, & food coloring, & I have very few pictures to show for it, since I only left my house for a trip to 7-11 & the comic store. All in all, enormously fulfilling.
Our friend Trafford has suggested that I 2. include a banner of his own design on each of my geek week entries. Oh, all right!
Well, the highlight of my day was obviously reading fairy-tale themed pornography on the floor of ELFSAR, the best & only comic store I’ve ever been to. You can read the whole episode on the post below.
Now the lovely banner is out of the way & we can proceed!
Before I got out of my bed, I lay in awhile longer. I read some comic book pornography with the Chancellor.
The Chancellor is my favorite eunuch.
Sadly, it failed to impress. Sorry, local artist! There were hardly any pictures & I found the text obscene without being particularly titillating. If you enjoy reading exuberantly filthy male fantasy, I’d recommend Nicholson Baker’s The Fermata instead. I finished it a few weeks ago. It’s about a temp who can freeze time & uses his powers to undress women. Vulgar, very fun, & literary to boot. Though I can’t promise you won’t find it offensive.
I read some 3. Sandman last night, though, as per my orders. & I loved it!
ANYWAY.
This morning I was supposed to 4. go to the Vancouver Gaming Guild website to see if I could find someone to play a role-playing game with me tonight. I went, but it didn’t look very busy. Furthermore, I’d decided to take a commenter’s suggestion & do online role playing instead. What can I say? I’m a geek. I suffer from crippling social anxiety & self-diagnosed Asperger’s syndrome.
In the afternoon it was recommended that I 5. research role-playing games. What a kind recommendation! But I was too busy wiling away the hours on Facebook to get around to it.
I made some Kraft Dinner. That’s a geek food, I think. It was not as good as I remember it from my childhood.
I grow more attractive by the day!
Do you see my snake shirt? It’s one of favorites. I bought it for $5 at a store that was going out of business in Ann Arbor. Normally it was at least 12 times more expensive! I bought it because I a) liked the Biblical implications & b) TD is terrified of snakes. But today I thought I should wear it because it is geeky. I’m not sure why it’s geeky but I just have a feeling.
Then I was ready to shirk my errands. In favor of a much more interesting errand that had occurred to me!
What is this errand, you cry? Tell us, Emily! (exploding with love for me)
Well, a lot of people want to send me things. But I’m a lady, & I simply don’t give out my address to strangers on the internet. It’s not because it’s not safe– I have a vicious dog, a formidable security system, & a wholly American love of heavy artillery, plus itchy trigger finger, balcony, large pots, easily-heated oil. But it’s not dignified to give out one’s address.
I was going to get a P.O. Box, but yesterday (while lying on the floor of Elfsar), I was struck with a brilliant idea. Maybe Elfsar could be my post office! Then I’d have an excuse to go back there periodically, despite an almost total lack of interest in comic books. & it’s much more fun than picking up packages from a post office. Then I have other people to delight in my spoils with me! Also, the scenery is better. I ran it by Ethan over email last night & this afternoon headed over. I’m paying them about what I’d pay the post office & they’ll hold my packages for me.
ALSO, I’m going to record every package-receiving excursion. Not in text… certainly not. Nor in photographs — how old fashioned! Video? Well that sounds tedious…
I’ll make little comic strips! I like to be as multimedia as possible these days. So anytime I get a package, you’ll see a little comic about it. Rudimentary, perhaps. But appropriate.
My mailing address is now:
I love this address as if it were my very own.
Send whatever you want, whenever you want, & I’ll make sure to incorporate it into the project somehow. Of course, you should know you have no control over HOW I’ll incorporate it.
Anyway, I went down to Elfsar (laden with dog food) to see my new best friends. Omar & Ethan! How I love you! A man named Matheus was there too. I bought my package rights for three months plus a Coke.
The guys told me they’d checked the comments & some guy had written a really long one. Let me guess. Ptolemy? Yeah! (They had no trouble with his name, I’ll have you know). They gave me the gist of it, told me it was a one act play, & I was struck with another brilliant idea.
Did they want to act it out? They didn’t seem to want to, exactly, but this was no time to be coy!!
I raced home & fed the dog & got my computer & raced back!
Wow they were good. They only took one take. I kept messing up the end, however.
Results?
I think I speak for all of us when I say 6. QAPLA’! Also, um, 7. maj’
Who knew geeks could be so handsome & talented?
As a sidenote, apparently Ben Trafford came by the store early this morning, seeking Omar for a duel of some sort. Unfortunately for everyone, Omar wasn’t in. Mr. Trafford is apparently a thin man with a pointed goatee! He bought a Coke. That’s all I know.
I left the store & headed to 7-11, where I bought 7. food traditionally associated with gaming [...] Nothing too fancy, and nothing that takes too much time to do. I was still very full from my awful KD, & rather at a loss. But I hit upon it. NERDS! Obviously, those are associated with gaming. I also picked up some Sour Whips (haha — whips) & a slurpee. I think I should get extra geek points for mixing Coca-Cola & cream soda flavors. So there’s my dinner.
Once home, I 8. Watched some Prisoner. A clip on YouTube where the guy shouts he’s Not a number! Very excited for real thing.
Then I 9. Went forth & gamed.
I looked around a little for free online RPG’s but nothing really struck my fancy. Then I hit upon it. I should google RPG’s for girls. I found a lovely website full of girly games.
The first game I played was called “Get a Life.” I found that appropriate. It was similar to my Janet-From-Sales idea. I could do a few exciting things like “Beg for change from Mom” or “Sleep” or “Go to class.” I spent a few minutes playing but I couldn’t figure out how to get my character’s Happiness score up. Though I kept going to the bar to buy drinks, I kept going into negative Happiness points so I got bored & quit. How eerily portentious.
Next I played “Tattoo Artist.” I had to stay in the lines. Next!
“Perfect Wedding Cake” was much more fun. It told me:
I created a beautiful concoction. It had a live butterfly, a ballerina, pink roses, a teddy bear — the works!
Then I played a few more. I made breakfast sandwiches to order, ran a little bakery, & also played “Octomom,” in which I was hired as Octomom’s nanny & I had to feed the babies whatever they wanted or they’d be taken away by social services.
But none of these seemed dangerously addictive.
Finally I hit upon FARM MANIA. I’m might keep playing once I’m done with this post. I have a little farm of my very own. I’ve done so well that I have sheep & lettuce & two varieties of melon, also geese, two buckets, a double-sided hoe — wow, the works.
All I have left to do is 10. email my mother to tell her the gaming geeks didn’t eat me (of course not. All I’ve been doing is scaring off virtual rabbits) & 11. Read Sandman before bed.
If you think this is boring, blame GeekMaster Trafford — not me. As if I have any control over all of this! I’ll spend the rest of this Friday night updating the tags on past entries, like a true Geek.
That’s right. Tag, Virtual Farm, & Email. For tomorrow I Goth.
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